(6/24/12)
Tranquilo = "Calm down. Don't worry."
The last few weeks can be summarized by saying that God basically spoke a single word into my life . . . "tranquilo." I actually was unaware of this exact word until 2 days ago but as soon as it was shared with me, I recognized its' significance during the last season of my life.
God really desires for me to stop worrying. And the bottom line is that God's got me. Do you know what I'm talking about when I say that God's got me? I mean that no matter how much thought and effort goes into attempting to make my life just so . . . perfect even, it always results in the same. God is in control.
I have written and re-written a post for this blog in the last 2 weeks, over and over. I've wanted to write about so many things that God has filled my heart with recently but that was almost the problem . . .He's just doing so much. My brain feels a little like it can't keep up! You can ask those around me, I've actually had trouble speaking in conversation a little bit because my brain is working so hard and fast . . .tasks, tasks, tasks . . .that my tongue is still left trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to say 10 thoughts before! Haha!
That's why in the last 2 weeks, my writing has been so sparatic and nil . . . I feel rushed! I feel like there's not enough time . . .and I feel like I'm not ready to talk about it. This leaving for almost a year thing. There's too much to do still . . .too many people to love on . . . too many things to buy . . . just, too much happening.
I'm not complaining at all, by the way! Just in case this post comes across as winey in the least . .. know my heart! It's just a strange moment in time and I'm really not sure what to do with it. I'm worried that I will forget something important and I'm worried that I won't tell someone something and then it will be too late . . . I'm worried. Not about the race, nope, not really! Haha! About leaving home and not being ready to face the reality of not being in control anymore. The next 11 months just feel so . . . distant, which is ridiculous, of course! I leave for "Launch" in 6 days.
I know I'm prepared in the way that God intended . . .He's been here all along and wait a minute . . .yep, He's the One that is sending me to the nations in the first place! haha! I LONG to go to the nations. My heart is shaken at the very THOUGHT of the lovely adults and children that I will have opportunity to minister to. I am a missionary. I really am stunned by this. God is so good. There's that.
Did you know that the Israelites would dance before going into battle . . .as preparation? I hadn't realized this until Reverend Powell mentioned this to me the other day. He said . . .
"You know the Israelites always would dance before going into battle as preparation . . .it seems like God has had you dancing for the last season of your life to prepare you for this coming battle you will face . . . and it WILL be a battle."
Hm. Yes, I know . . .I have been stirred for days by the poignancy of this wise man's words.
The Lord is ready for me to "go" and that's really all that matters.
One of Mallori's (my 16 yr old sister) best friends said something else to me that snapped me to attention . . .
"Are you ready and excited to go," she asked? I answered as I did when I explained above about my lack of admittance that it was actually time and about my worries. She replied, "Lauren, do you really think that God has been with you all of this time leading up to going to just let you get out there and be unprepared? No way! He's made a way and He's in control just as much on your World Race as He was in preparing you for it."
Yes, Taylor . . .you are right :)
Do you know that $1,000 was donated to my race this week alone? Do you know that I was prayed over in person 2xs and more times than I can count by my online supporters? Do you know that friends and family have worked hard for my upcoming fundraiser and God has been blessing their efforts? He is so in control and I love it!
This post is really all about how there's a lot in this coming LAST WEEK that could be overwhelming and about how God does not desire that for my soul. He desires genuine emotions and intentions. He desires me. He desires my supporters, including friends and family and He desires His glory. Only He can do that in humility and I love Him even more for it. I want to give Him glory and I honestly do know that He's proud of me although I try not to think about that. It makes me weepy. How we all long for our father to be proud.
I went to a celebration of a lost life both yesterday and today (2 different believers went to be with Jesus in the last 2 weeks), in the midst of all of my family birthday, homecomings, and home leaving celebrations! God has been so evident. His presence is undeniable. I've seen His glory revealed through the strength and love poured out in grief over loss and in the celebration of lives lived to the glory of God and in service to their fellow man. What a reminder during these hectic weeks about what's REALLY important. Family. Loved ones. Salvation. Choosing joy. The celebration of life.
God's Word is so clear about resting in God and His control and about how detrimental our own attempt at control can be for us and others. Worship for me in this quick season before I leave on my World Race journey, is really about embracing His rest and in that choosing His reverberating word to His daughter, who is so stubborn and needs a good knock in the head once in a while (Also a back injury & strep throat! Hah!) . . . "Tranquilo."
The next 6 days are going to be NUTS as far as busyness is concerned; however, It's time to embrace "Tranquilo"
. . . I'm about to enter a war zone.
LOVED.,
Lauren!<><+
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