Lying Still: preparing for battle (Part 1)

(6/13/12) I just returned from my 2nd doctors visit of the week just a little bit ago. After accessing my health and with a glimpse of the strep infection on my throat. . .  I was prescribed bed rest for the next 4 days I leave for my World race in 17 days   . . . I am NOT prepared for battle. I need to rest. I've known this for weeks, maybe my whole life.  At Training Camp a few weeks ago, God brought into focus my need for learning to not only accept help but also to ask for it. He has continued that theme the last few weeks as I have faced physical ailment after physical ailment. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm counting my blessings . . .it could be much worse. But the ailments I've dealt with have caused me to stay home and not go, be quiet and not talk, and remain still, instead of Moving Forward. Hm. My heart for this mission is HUGE and my heart for my family and friends is HUGE as well. I don't like to let people down and I definitely have no desire to be lazy with the time that God has given me. All good things.  BUT GOD has called me to rest. Okay, God . . .I get it.  So now I have to! Hah! Doctor's orders. 4 days of bed rest will seem like an eternity, especially with so much change at hand but God knows best and so I will trust Him. If He wants me to be still, I'll wait for Him to speak. Maybe that's just it, my restless/wondering spirit has caused me to be too busy to listen. Maybe His still small voice is speaking to me regarding some area of my life and being still is the only way that I will hear it effectively. Maybe He wants to prepare me for battle. Well, okay then . . . Lord, speak. I'm still . . .I'm listening. (This will be the first installment of a week of more fervent writing. God has given me several posts to develop (This having been the 1st) and so I pray that you will find the time to be still with me as I seek the Lord and His Word.)  LOVED., Lauren "LO"!<><+

Moving Forward: Dreamers

(6/5/12) ". . .and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." When I was a little girl, maybe not even so little in age . . . 15 or so . . .I would sit on the floor of my bathroom . . .because it was mine. And when the door was locked, from the inside out, I was alone . . .and unreachable. My Bible sat in my lap many nights as I searched . . . I was looking for the Truth amongst so many lies. My tears only fell because of confusion, hurt, anger, frustration, and despair . . . Not because I was left to surrender to the lies. Jesus never left me. He was faithful. His Truth endured and eventually, His Truth . . . Set. Me. Free. Those days seem so long ago and in essence they were. But I can still feel the pang of my heart as I searched, and mostly begged for the hope of a better life that had been promised to me within the pages of my worn out Bible. God breathed words that were supposed to hold liberating power. Night after night, sometimes until 3 in the morning, knowing I had to be up early for another day of labor, I still wept over each phrase, thought, cry, and shout that came from those who had endured this earth before and had been deemed worthy of display among the other stories of life, captured within God's written Word. I believed that it was true and waited for victory to come. Freedom came. God is not dead. I now live to tell my story as those who went before did for me. I owe those who will come after that service. The service of bringing Truth for the sake of their bondage, sinful or victimized. Either way, there is freedom offered by a loving God. I know Him and He has redeemed me. He now cries out from my heart to theirs . . .oh, those who I will meet in the next 11 months of my life . . .He cries out to you through my lips, my love, my travel, my hard work, my passionate service for you, my contrite spirit. He calls out and says . . . Awake, awake all you dreamers Awake, awake and be free To dream the dreams of him  who was slain who was beaten The warring of a lamb  who can never be defeated Arise, arise all you sleeping Arise, arise begin to sing the song of our redemption Victory is ours we can never be defeated So come alive Come alive Out of the ruins we will rise We sing Oh, oh,  Wake up all you dreamers Sing your songs of freedom Oh, oh, wake up all you dreamers  Sing your songs The God peace  will soon crush Satan's head  under my feet,  He's under my feet Oh, oh,  Wake up all you dreamers Sing your songs of freedom I will conquer every curse I will bring heaven to earth I'll come out of my grave We sing, sun, you've been defeated Death, where is your victory?  You've lost your sting I'll come out of my grave Daniel Bashta "Dreamers" My team is one that could not be more unified in heart for the mission at hand over the next 11 months. I proudly present my team: Ashley Mueller (Team Leader and dear friend): This girl knows who she is BECAUSE of God. He has saved her from death (Literally) and has given her purpose that is exposed from the moment you meet her. I had the privilege of sharing stories and nerves about the coming week/year as we carpooled in Moses (My car!) to Training Camp. Yes, she was the very first person I met from my Squad H. Hm. God is divine. I have such confidence in her leadership and humility that I look forward with full regard to God's faithfulness in summoning her as my leader while traversing the World Race. Daniel Whited: This guy, man is God good to have connected our spirits in service so quickly! Daniel is the only Squad H member that I repeatedly asked to be on my Team to the AIM staff. His ability to humbly direct is really amazing and therefore is a huge asset to our team. He has a mind for reason and logic and Lord knows I need someone like that working alongside me daily :) Daniel knows the deep pangs of loss in his life and therefore the comfort that only our GREAT God can bring. I am honored to serve with this man of God and I look forward to many laughs and endearing moments as brother and sister in distant lands. Lauren Weidley: Well, she had me at "My name is Lauren TOO!" hahah! I love this girl! One of the females in Squad H that I connected to most quickly and spent the most time with over the Training Camp week. So glad to have that camaraderie on my team! She has a gift for reasoning as well and as she displayed as a Team Leader for one of our many "stranded" scenarios, has a great mind for logistics and survival. Yep, you can see why I'd like to keep her around! Plus, she and I both LOVE to be goofy . . .yes! Laurens unite! Ali Kendrick: Man, she is just one of my favorite people. Hah! I actually did not spend any time with her during Training Camp, or get to know her at all until AFTER we were placed on a team together! The Lord knows best because in the end, she needed a ride home and it was on my way! We drove like 6"ish" hours together and chatted the whole way (Almost! I slept some and she drove for me!!!!). I realized quickly that we are kindred spirits in almost an unlikely way! I love it. I can't wait to see what her vision for videography and her perceptive spirit will produce in combination with the gifts of the rest of the team.Yay! Let's go! Leah Johansen: Oh mercy! This girl is such a blessing! Since camp, there has literally been no one more encouraging (And that's saying a lot because my whole squad ROCKS at encouragement!). She is the person that selfishly, I need on a team with me the most. When I start to wonder why the world is the way it is, in all its' filth, Leah will be there to remind me that the sky is blue because God wanted to bring peace to an otherwise angry place and so all I have to do when I am disheartened is look up . . . And be reminded of God's peace. Yeah, I know . .. Don't you want her on your team too?!! Blessed. She will also be the one who finally has the patience to teach me to play the guitar, amen to that! Christian Norris: I saved Christian for last on purpose. Lots of our squad have deemed him a ninja, I consider him a night undercover. Phew . . . I just don't know if I have the words for Christian. Hm. When I look into his eyes, I see the strength of the Lord. His joy does not come from circumstance but from the light within, God's light in life. He does not put on heirs and he is not afraid. He makes my time with him feel special and every day on this mission will feel like the first day because he is my partner in crime . . . Whoops, I mean ministry ;) As cohorts, we will work together and know that no matter what comes, we have each other's back. God ordained our friendship and that's that. We've made a promise and however silly or sarcastic we are to each other, those words will ring true and that will be that. Accountability for who God has made us. Real talk. Excited to serve with someone who has also overcome. Stories together, I can't wait to be the church with this guy. So . . .that's my team and we call ourselves: "Team Aletheia" You've been waiting and there it is!!! TEAM NAME . . . WHAT! WHAT! Now, those of you who are from Pcola might laugh because that's the name of a Christian school here locally that my sisters and I have attended. The amazing thing is that God gave us that without that being a part of the decision at all. Here is why we are named this very thing: Aletheia means "Truth," "what is true in any matter ," & " truth as a personal excellence" We believe as a team that God has called this specific group of SEVEN people to be God's Truth in the flesh to those in need of freedom . . . He has called us to set people FREE! It's amazing how are goals, dreams, and stories all lead to the same purpose this year! God must be intimately involved. Our claimed verse came to us the week we were together in GA and is perfect: John 8:32 ". . . And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." As a team, we do not claim to be much but we do accept the call to be the bearers of hope and liberation to those held captive all over the world . . .11 countries in fact. Current Team Aletheia prayer requests: 1. We are not all fully funded yet. So close. 2. Pray for this specific word to ring true, "Stand Firm." (We are unsure of its' meaning as of yet) 3. We have a special call for month SEVEN of our trip: India (We are unsure of why in this as well but we know it to be true). 4. Safety.   As we go . . . my team, pray that like myself as a child, we would cling to God's Word . . .His Truth and in turn be the truth that others are searching for. Dreamers are all around the world and God is saying this word through us . . . Awake . . .arise . . .come alive! LOVED., LO!<><+

Mid-week Mission: FREEDOM!! (Part 2)

(5/30/12)


FREEDOM isn’t free and as we were reminded yesterday (Memorial Day), our physical freedom to live in the USA was bought with a price. Because of the personal sacrifice on the part of our service men and women of the past, present and future, you and I may live our lives in the freedom that blood spilt offers.

Christ spilt His blood for me . . . willingly.

So often I forget that the greatest price has already been paid.

     Believing Christ as my Savior was the best decision I ever made. That decision was made so long ago . . .21 years ago, in fact . . . that I must be reminded time and time again that my salvation and even joy on this earth has been brought about and is sustainable by nothing of myself. I can do nothing on my own. And because of this FACT . . .

I am free

     Freedom was given to me on a whole new level while preparing for my quickly approaching journey at the World Race Training Camp this past week, in the GA hills.

     I found myself lost, truly. Not without a map though. God’s Word shown light on areas of my life that I still had yet to let go, even 21 years into my faith. Grief was needed to be spent at the foot of my Savior’s cross where He so willingly gave all He had for my freedom. Realization for my limitations and the acknowledgement that my God is so much bigger than I ever allow myself to believe Him to be, were both added to the list of lessons I would take away from Training Camp. All of this and more . . .
Phew.

     I awoke each morning at the crack of dawn with the rest of my District H family (The 54+ people I will spend the next 11 months traveling the world with . . .wow, what a privilege) and we traversed an area of life that many of us had only teased ourselves with for the last few years of adulthood, exercise. Becoming physically fit was important during our training, no doubt, but it only scratched the surface of the preparation we would encounter in those riveting 8 days.



     Team building exercises and initiatives were a welcomed part of the week as I too attempted to analyze (with the AIM staff) who and who would not make a good team of 6 or 7 to travel as a family with . . . not my job but I couldn’t help myself! Hahah! At one point, I had been “muted” and asked God to show me what other gifts I had to offer my team in the form of “leadership.” Boy did He show me.

     That was not the only time I was “muted” last week . . . time and time again, I was “muted” as my infirmity to stretch and grow through . . . just a guess but I’m thinkingGod had a major plan in that!  By the second Saturday, God had wrecked my “idea” of leadership. He taught me what it means to be a leader in spirit and not in voice. God is already using this lesson. It’s a struggle . . . possibly, a beautiful disaster.



     I needed help while at TC (I will abbreviate from here out!). Yes, help. I HATE help. God wanted me to learn yet another lesson. My foot became infected and instead of asking for help, I cleaned it as best as I was able and kept plodding along through my days. Yeeaaah, bad idea. One of my friends finally helped me get help and with the aid of AIM staff, my entire Squad, and God’s humility, I was helped. My foot was actually prayed over by my new 55 member family and my excruciating pain . . . vanished. My foot is now healing nicely and I have learned that help will be greatly appreciated in lands covered in disease. Yes, I get it. Team.

     I also experienced being knocked out by a Nalgene Water Bottle . . .yes, laughter is quite appropriate here, along with a gasp! My dear friend swung his Nalgene in a moment that could only be explained as a FREAK ACCIDENT and collided with my head. Not as hard as I thought? Apparently, I stated, “It’s okay, that was not your fault,” before falling to the floor in a heap. Oh mercy, always looking out ;) Yeah, another opportunity for me to experience the help of a loving AIM staff and H squad. People prayed, ran to get sustenance, and guided me through my thoughts until a minor concussion was announced and I was sent on my way for a restful evening with my team. Just in case I hadn’t gotten the lesson the first time, God decided for it to beknocked into me!



     I would not call myself charismatic by any means but I have found myself to be more “Spirit led” in my lifetime than one would imagine because of my story. Still, I was OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AT CAMP. This was perfect. The Lord is allowing me to re-assess my theological views for the purpose of being sure because I’m sure and not because I’ve been told to be. I love being a student of God’s Word and I have been challenged to dig into God’s Spiritual Gifts offered to the believer. My heart has opened to what God has for my faith and I’m excited! Excited to make certain my own heart in the matter, based on God’s Word.

I’m pretty messy, you know? Well, don’t answer that! Haha.

I am.

     God’s doing a new work in me. One that is not defined by anyone’s opinion of my "emotion/passion/intensity" but instead based solely on His willed purpose for who I am meant to be because of Him. I have truly found freedom :)



     Freedom to live, breathe, make mistakes, own up to my heart-ache, and to treat others exactly how God calls me to. Blessings abound in my heart now because I am realizing who I am in Christ: A servant of the most high that has been honored with a specific title, daughter. Wow. Daughter.



     Did we camp? Heck yes, we camped! Camped all over that place! Alone, in pairs, in groups of 10 or more, as a squad, and in a school bus. I won’t give away all things TCbut I will say that we were tested time and time again and I am more proud of Squad H than I can express. God’s love shown and it makes me teary. Thank you all for being such amazing Brothers and Sisters and always know that I have your back like I know you have mine, for real my loves! Let’s do this! We did survive, we will survive, and we’ll set this world on FIAH, we can burn brightah . . .haha, okay, you get the point ;)

     Training Camp was dirty, hard core, pressing, uncomfortable, relieving, beautiful, peaceful, and altogether ugly at times but more than anything, it was exactly what God wanted. I’m ready, y’all (Or as ready as I'll ever be!). I’m ready to run this race. I’m HONORED to run this race. Thank you for letting me accept this call by your continued financial support and thank you for your prayers most of all, I am messy and need your help . . .God said so :)

“. . . so I go”



LOVED.,
LO!<><+